A Pagan Converts

i poured a libation to The Mary today
honey mead to her robe, and her toes
she smiled to me when i added sweet grapes
from the land where the red wine flows

i asked the priests to show me her ass
so that I could properly praise her
but they cackled and squawked,
and called for the guards, and I had to leave her

i gave the priests gold to soften their ire
but none was left for The Mary
so, i looked till i found Her smile in a girl
cold and barefoot, filthy and hairy

and i took that girl home to my good mother
who washed her and taught her to weave
and i became to my Mary a husband to love her
better than gold on some jealous priest’s sleeve

now, to the priests and their soldiers
i can in truth say, that i worship the son and the lass
he’s a bright bonny boy and wiser than I
and she, She has such a fine ass.

Hope you enjoy it!

Listen: a snake in the house

there’s a snake in the house

there’s a snake in the house
a slithery scaly other
i didn’t invite him in,
did you?

there’s a snake in the house
he’s eating all the vermin
i wonder what will happen
when he’s through?

there’s a snake in the house
i can hear him sliding, and
when i’m walking, slowly
he’s moving too

there’s a snake in the house
he’s sleeping in the walls
after feasting on the rats
the whole day through…

there’s a snake in the house
i’m afraid to go to bed
i’m afraid i will wake up
and find him in my shoe

there’s a snake in the house
he shimmied through my dreams
and licked me on the face
the whole night through

there’s a snake in the house
he shed his skin last night
i pulled it up and over
it fits me, too

there’s a snake in the house
and he’s getting awful hungry
it’s been a long long while
since he ate my shoe…

there’s a snake in the house
he’s been watching you very closely
he’s looking over your shoulder
and he says, BOOOOO!